Emeraude
by deathpuppet13
Summary: I'm back with more female Merlin! Merlin is a young Druid girl that has lived with the Druids her whole life and when Arthur is wounded by the patrols he is taken to her. What will happen, well Methur of course!
1. Chapter 1

**Emeraude**

I watched as our patrols carried in the young blonde man. They laid him down at my feet as a silent asking of hat to do with him. The young man was unconscious and looked as if he would stay that way for a while. I studied him as one would study a plant before they eat it or an odd bug they found under a rock. "Take him to my tent. I will heal him and when he regains consciousness we'll send him on his way."

"But Emrys, it's the Pendragon boy," said one of the patrols.

"I know exactly who he is and I'm doing this in hopes of showing the Pendragons," I spat the name, "that we aren't a bunch of heathens in the woods. We are civilized people being treated as animals but the King of Camelot is the animal! Let us not sink to his level. That is how I feel about it and I won't have any arguments. I am Emrys and my word is to be upheld!"

"Yes Emrys," the man said and bowed. He and his friends picked up the boy and carried him to the tent behind me. I walked around the village of tents saying hello to my friends. Well friend, all the others revered me too highly to become my friends. Mordred, a young boy of twelve, was my only friend. He ran out of the tent he had alone and started asking all sorts of questions about the new person.

"Is he a boy? Is he my age? What is he like? Can I play with him when he wakes up?" his ice blue eyes sparkled with curiosity.

"Calm yourself Mordred," I said laying a hand on his head. "No he's not a boy, he's a young man. He's probably older than I am. I don't think he'll want to play but you can help me with the healing process if you'd like." Mordred nodded and I led him to the tent where the newcomer lay asleep. When I walked in he stirred and his eyes flew open.

He groaned and looked around sluggishly. When his eyes landed on me they stopped roaming. "Where am I?" he asked trying to sit up. I went quickly to his side and pushed him back into a lying position.

"You mustn't move too much. You're injured and I think you may have hit your head. I'm Merlin but most call me Emrys. I'll need you to take off your shirt so I can assess the damage."

"I'm-" He started but I cut him off.

"I know who you are. You're the Once and Future King," I said helping him with his tunic. His back was badly bruised and there were some cuts. An extremely long gas ripped through his shoulder and bicep. "Mordred fetch me some water, a few rags, and a healing salve. Thank you. Oh! And some bandages." The little brown haired boy ran off to get what I needed.

"What were you talking about the Once and Future King. My name's Prince Arthur," he said wincing as I inspected the gash on his shoulder.

"There are many names for you Arthur," I said forgetting about his title. Frankly I didn't care whether he was a prince or not.

"That's Prince Arthur to you _Mer_lin," he sneered. I poked a finger into one of his bruises and he yelped with pain.

"You're speaking to a very important person Arthur. I suggest you thank me because my friends out there were going to leave you to die out in the woods. I'm the only thing that saved you from being wolf food," I snapped. At that moment Mordred walked in with the supplies. I heated the water with magic and Arthur stared on in shock.

"You're a sorceress!" he exclaimed looking almost frightened of me.

"Yes but I'm not going to use magic to harm you. I promise," I said letting my usual façade fade away. I showed him the side of me that most knew, the softer side. "I just want to help."

I saw his guard go down and he relaxed, "Alright, I'm trusting you." He watched everything I did carefully. I cleaned the wound as tenderly as I could but he kept squirming. I rubbed the healing salve into the gash and he drew in a sharp breath. I rubbed it on the rest of the cuts and bruises. I took the bandages and started wrapping his shoulder and upper arm. I used the rest of the bandages to make a temporary sling.

"Mordred will you get me, nevermind," I said ripping the hem off my blue tunic. I tied it around Arthur neck and carefully set his arm in it. "There."

"Thank you for your kindness I must be going now," he said trying to stand but I pushed him back down.

"You're to stay here until I know you're healed. I haven't helped you for no reason Arthur," I said readjusting his sling. "At least stay for the feast tonight."

"What are you talking about? What holiday is it?" he asked.

"There's no holiday today but we celebrate the spring coming today!" I said excitedly. It was my favorite time of the year and everything was so tiresome the rest of the year. "It's just celebrating the last of winter melting away to spring."

"My father will be worried about me," he said not looking me in the eye.

I grabbed his hand and he looked at me hesitantly, "Please, as my personal and honored guest," I said. "It will be fun."

"I guess it won't hurt just to stay tonight," he said smiling. I jumped up and ran to his shirt. I took off the sling carefully, replaced his shirt, repositioned the sling, and pulled him along with me. We walked to Heather who was in charge of the food and settings tonight.

"Hello Heather, I know this will be a terrible bother but I was hoping if I could get you to set a plate for Arthur as my guest. I was hoping you could set him to my right," I said watching the young girl. She nodded and I thanked her. "Come with me Arthur," I said holding onto his hand, locking our fingers together. "Here's where we will be celebrating," I said pointing to the fire pit on the shore of the lake. "The way the flames reflect on the water is just… magical." I walked him to the seamstress. "Hello? Rose are you here?"

"Yes lady Emrys?" she asked coming out from behind the curtain where she kept the fabrics and finished dresses. "Are you here for your dress?" she asked.

"Yes, and no," I said pulling Arthur forward. "I'll need clothes for him tonight. He's only got this red tunic we found him in plus some chainmail they removed from him. I was wondering if you could take some of the clothes you have made and tailor them to fit. If you're not too busy that is."

"No Emrys, you're in luck actually. Everyone's already picked up their clothes so I'm free. If you'd come back here you two." She swept the curtain aside and we walked past. "Emrys why don't you pick something for him while I measure?" I looked at the lush greens of the grass and then the dark greens of the forest. I picked a white tunic with green stitching of leaves across the collar. The laces on the front were green as well. I pulled a nice brown pair of trousers and a grass green cloak made of thin material with the same leave stitching in a dark forest green.

"What about these?" I said to Rose she nodded and pulled the right sizes while Arthur carefully stepped down off the block that Rose used to measure the length for their trousers. She put them on him and the pants fit put the shirt was a bit baggy around the shoulders. She tapered them in easily and the cloak was no problem.

"There!" she said stepping back and letting me admire her handiwork.

"I like it," I said. Rose scrunched up her nose and I knew that she didn't like something. "What is it?"

"That sling is dreadful!" she exclaimed. "It takes away from the clothes, and it's tattered."

"That's because I ripped the hem off my tunic," I said gesturing to the bottom of the tunic I was wearing. Rose made a sound of disapproval and so I rolled my eyes. Rose was like a friend but I didn't get to see her much because she was always working. She pulled out a piece of green fabric and cut it to the size of the sling.

"I'll embroider it with white in the same pattern and then you can have a nice sling to wear. This is a big day and we don't want people getting the wrong impression from you Arthur," Rose said nicely.

"How did you-" he started but Rose cut him off.

"I'm a Seer, it's my job to know about things before they come." She smiled and Arthur changed back into his old clothes. We put his clothes in a leather bag and he bowed to Rose.

"Thank you for these clothes," he said kissing her hand gently. I couldn't help but snigger. Rose rolled her eyes at me.

"Sorry that Emrys is being immature, she's lived here her whole life and doesn't know anything about chivalry and being a gentleman."

I stuck my tongue out at her and pulled Arthur back to my tent. I watched him as he stared at everything. He sat at my desk and tried to read my book but they were in the language of the Old Religion, so he couldn't read it. The day was almost over so I decided to get my dress from Rose and then start getting ready for the celebrations. I ran to Rose and got my dress and ran right back. Arthur was still trying to decipher the words he never would be able to.

I started to slide my tunic over my head when Arthur shouted. "Hey! What are you doing?"

"I'm going to change into my dress," I said. I slid my tunic the rest of the way over my head revealing my chest bindings. He sat staring and I pulled my dress over my head. I pulled the wrappings from my chest and undid my hair from its braid. I brushed it out and pulled two small sections from each side and braided them tying them together in the back. I brushed through the length that reached to about the small of my back. It came down in waves because it had been in a braid and it was usually straight but it had been up all day.

I cleaned my face and dabbed my face dry with a towel. I felt his gaze drilling into my back. I looked at him and caught him staring. "You need to get ready too Arthur Pendragon."

He shook his head and I handed him his clothes. He looked around and turned red, "Do I have to change in front of you?"

"Yes," I said, "There's nowhere else to." He turned away from me and stripped down to his undergarments. I watched him curiously and he dressed quickly. He fumbled with the laces on his tunic so I helped him with it. I laced it for him and tied his cloak.

I led him to the shore where they were trying to light the fire. I lit it with magic and it roared to life. They smiled and thanked me and I smiled back. I sat on the shore dipping my toes in the shallows. My dress stopped just above my ankles so I decided to go into the shallows. My dress was in two pieces, the first piece was a sleeveless dress with a white skirt with the same leaves from Arthur's shirt at the hem and the bodice was fitted and had straps that crossed in the back. The next piece was a green sash that encircled my waist.

I walked around looking at the minnows swimming around when I felt eyes watching me. I looked at the shore and Arthur was leaning on a tree, arms crossed, watching me with a smile on his face. I smiled back and he realized he'd been caught. I saw a minnow struggling to swim, its fin was at an odd angle so I hiked up my shirt and bent down to pick it up. My hair curtained around my face and I dipped my hand in the water touching the little fish and healed its fin in a little haze of gold and white light. It looked up at me and darted off. I lifted my head up slowly and brushed the hair away from my face. I looked to see if Arthur was still there and he was staring in shock.

I smiled at him and he turned away looking embarrassed. I walked back to shore and checked to see if the little minnow was gone, it was. I stepped back onto shore and said to Arthur, "Not all sorcery is evil. It's the person who makes it seem that way. We here in the Druid camp would never use our gifts in such a disgraceful way." He nodded and I saw he was sincerely trying to understand. "I use my gifts for healing and later in what I'm destined to do. I'm a sorceress but I'm not evil am I Arthur?"

"No. But there are so many that use their gifts, as you call them, for an evil purpose."

"I know Arthur, believe me I know," I said sadly and decided to share what I'd never shared with anyone before. "But Arthur, my father is a good man, only uses his power as a Dragonlord for good and Uther hunts him down like an animal. Hunts us all like animals." I gestured to the camp. "You'll see how hurt the people really are tonight." I walked him toward the horseshoe of colored flags on posts which the opened end led to a long dirt floor which was in front of a platform made of wooden planks. I ducked under the flags and led Arthur to the head table in the horseshoe. People were starting to file in and Mordred sat down to my left. I sat Arthur to my right. When everyone came in I stood up and placed a hand on Arthur and Mordred's shoulders.

"Hello friends and neighbors. Tonight we celebrate the coming of spring! Winter melts away to spring and our crops grow and so do our children," I ruffled Mordred's hair. "We also celebrate the young men and women who are of marrying age, that they will grow and have prosperous lives!

Now many of you have probably noticed the young man to my right. He is not one of us. He is Arthur Pendragon, son of Uther Pendragon and Igraine, the Once and Future King," I heard gasps and some of the men stood. "Please friends, sit." They reluctantly did so. "He is here as my personal and honored guest. Enough blood has been shed today, he is injured and I wanted to show him that Uther is wrong! We are NOT all evil! There is good in magic and I want to show Arthur that. Tonight we will put away our hatred and anger and we will treat him as if he was raised here.

Now! Let the festivities begin!" I shouted happily and sat. A man walked into the horseshoe made by the tables and bowed deeply to me.

"Emrys, in tradition of the spring festival we have chosen a May King and Queen. This year we have chosen you as our May Queen!" he said happily making a wreath of grass, roses, daisies, and other wildflowers appear. I walked forward into the middle and curtsied while he placed the wreath on my head daintily. I smiled as I straightened and people sent sparks of magic up into the air.

"If I may interrupt for one moment?" I asked. "I'd like to show a little display."

"Of course Emrys," he said moving back. I took a deep breath and I felt for the magic inside me. I put out my palm and there flowers of all sorts grew out, but they were made of fire. I set them on the dirt and turned them into wolves that howled and ran in circles around the tables. Then they blended into a one horse that whinnied and exploded showering everyone with little sparks of read, orange and yellow light. All the children's eyes widened and to my surprise, so did Arthur's. Next I summoned little orbs of blue light, threw them into the air, and they shattered, peppering everyone with light water droplets. I bowed and walked to one side smiling. Arthur looked wide-eyed and watched as the man from before reentered the middle. He smiled happily and said, "That was something wasn't it. Now for our May King. After a few revisions we decided that a special young man would become our May King. Emrys said to make him feel like one of us so we will. Arthur we want to welcome you and crown you our May King." Arthur sat there shaking his head and turning red. "Come on lad don't be shy."

I ran over to Arthur and grabbed his hand dragging him to the middle. He stood there looking petrified and the man made a wreath of grass and oak leaves appear. He set it on Arthur blonde locks and I sent up red and gold sparks. Rose followed suit and so did Mordred, but we were about it.

"Come on men don't be jealous," the man said linking Arthur and I's hand together. "Don't be grumpy because the Pendragon gets to dance with Emrys."

"What?" Arthur said. "I-I can't dance."

"Sure you can, I'll help you. It's not that hard," I said. A band of people stood on the stage holding their drums, flutes, lyres and tambourines. I pulled him out onto the dirt floor as everyone watched intently. The music started and I showed Arthur the basic steps and he picked up on it quickly. I moved quickly and he was one of the only people I had ever danced with that could. I moved my feet intricately and he tried to keep up. It was over after a few minutes and he had drifted closer to me the whole time. I spun to face the people and held his hand up in mine.

The people sent sparks up in whites and gold and reds and greens. I sat back down accepting a drink from Mordred. "Thank you. Here," I said offering to Arthur. He nodded and took a mouthful handing it back to me. I nodded and the band kept playing and others started to dance. I watched and when the first few dances were over people started setting plates and the food was brought out. The music played while people got up and got their food. I told Mordred to go ahead while Arthur and I waited. Once everyone had almost gone Arthur and I stood and went to get something to eat. I picked up some bread, strawberries and grapes and avoided the meat. I filled my cup with some wine and sat back down with Arthur right behind me. I ate some of my food and drank watching everyone around me. Mordred and a few others people talked to me and smiled at everyone in turn.

I felt Arthur watching me and when I looked at him he was smiling at me. "What is it?"

"Nothing, nothing at all," he said looking at the people dancing. I grabbed his hand and pulled him out to dance with me. Once I showed him how you were supposed to move we danced to almost everything. I tired and sat in my seat sipping the wine that had been poured in my cup. After the song ended Mordred bowed and took my hand asking me to dance with him. I nodded and gave his hand a squeeze.

We laughed when he trod on my toe. He was so light that it didn't hurt but we laughed anyway. I lead him around and when it ended I pressed a feather-light kiss to his forehead and told him to play with the other children. He ran off and I sat back down next to Arthur. He smiled and asked unexpectedly, "Who's his father?"

"Mordred's?" I asked. He nodded. "His name was Sam."

"He looks like you," he said and I laughed. He thought Mordred was my son. "What's so funny."

"Mordred's not my child," I said laughing. "His mother was a good friend of mine. I told her that if anything happened to her I'd take care of him as if he was my own."

"What happened to his mother and where's his father?" Arthur asked darkly.

"His mother was burned at the stake by Uther and his father was beheaded by Uther as well. His father was… dispatched before his mother and she feared for her life so she made me promise on my life and magic that I would protect him and raise him if anything happened to her. He was four when the soldiers came and dragged her out of their house. He doesn't remember her very well and I never talk about her much. I don't want to remind him of something he doesn't have," I said looking at Mordred watching the other children play. A little boy a bit younger than him gestured him over and I clapped once lightly. Never had the other children invited him to play. He ran with them playing tag and I felt so happy.

The night went on happily and then my favorite dance was here to close out the night. Every girl that was going to dance was given a red sash and I took mine and looked for Mordred but he was nowhere to be found. I decided that Arthur could be my partner. I snuck up beside him and threw the sash around his neck. "Dance with me!"

"No, I-I can't," He said grabbing it. "No. No!" I said as I pulled him toward the floor. I laughed and explained.

"You pretty much just have to copy me," I said. The music started and I took a good grip on the sash and out my arm out with my hand at an angle walking around Arthur as he did the same. I twirled myself into the sash and he pulled it un-twirling me. We repeated it but I tried not to get caught while he tried to get the sash around me again. The song ended as Arthur finally caught me. I was breathing heavily and so was he. I pulled away and sat back down in my seat and Mordred ran up crying. I picked him up and set him on my lap. "Mordred what's wrong?"

"M-my head hurts and s-so does m-my kn-knee," he sniffed. I examined his knee and it looked as if he tripped and scraped it. He had a bump on his forehead. I shushed and rocked him until he fell asleep. I carried him to his tent and left to find Arthur. I led him to my tent and started to redress. He stood outside while I out on my chest bindings. I poked my head out and he walked in rubbing his arms for it was starting to get cold. I pulled my dress off and put my trousers and tunic on.

I turned away from him but he quickly tapped me on the shoulder. He gestured vaguely to the ties. I untied the cloak and threw it over the desk chair. I unlaced the shirt and helped him slip it over his head. I redressed his wounds and untied his sling. "Just lay down there," I said pointing to the bedroll. He nodded and lay down carefully. I grabbed a knit blanket and lay down next to Arthur covering both of us. He rolled over facing me. "What-?"

"I only have one bed and its cold," I said. He nodded and smiled mischievously. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. I tried to push away.

"It's cold," he said cheekily. I nodded and poked his gash and he yelped. "Alright I'll let go."

"No it's fine but don't be so cheeky," I said blushing and snuggling into his chest. I fell asleep listening to the steady thrum of his breathing and heartbeat. I fell asleep feeling his warmth and strong arms around me.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up with a start and looked around. Arthur was still sleeping and the sun was starting to rise. I walked outside and took in a sharp breath, it was cold. I went back into the tent and grabbed my jacket slipping it over my tunic. I went down to the shore and sat on a rock that was right over the water. I dipped my bare feet in the water and watched the sun come up. I felt the first rays of sun warm my cheeks and I let my eyes slip shut. I felt someone put a blanket on my shoulders and I turned to see Arthur, bleary-eyed but still there. "Thought you might be cold," he said sitting next to me.

"Thank you." I pulled it around me tighter then extended an arm. "You look cold and there's plenty of room here." He nodded and pulled the half I offered him around his shoulders. We sat in a companionable silence until a certain little boy barreled right into me. He threw his arms around my neck and hugged me from behind. I pulled him around and sat him on my lap and he smiled up at me.

"Merlin," he said looking at Arthur and then at me meaningfully. I shrugged. Then he started projecting into my mind. _You like him don't you?_

_I don't know._

_ Think about it, I want you to be happy. _He nodded and let it drop. I stroked his brown hair and he leaned against me. I hummed a little and he hummed with me. I rocked him and Arthur looked at us curiously. Mordred's breathing slowed and I knew he was asleep.

"You'd never know that he wasn't yours," Arthur said offhandedly.

"Part of my promise was to treat him as my own, and I have. Sometimes I forget that he's not," I said wistfully thinking of the day he was born. He was the first baby, and certainly not the last, I had delivered. While Holly recovered I held him while he cried and felt the tears streaming down my face.

"You must really love him."

"I guess you could say that," I said kissing the boy's forehead. People were starting to rouse throughout the camp so I woke up Mordred and sent him to get the things from my tent to redress Arthur's wounds. Now that it was warm we sat on the blanket while I stripped off his shirt and undid his bandages. The bruises were fading and the cuts were scabbed over but the gash was still trickling blood and open. "Do you trust me?" I asked.

"I do." I gnawed on my bottom lip and placed my hand a few inches from the gash. I whispered a healing spell and a red and gold haze swirled around my hands and seeped into his wound closing it but I broke the spell before the skin completely closed. I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding and inspected his shoulder. It seemed alright and I sent Mordred for a needle and thread. "What's that for?"

"I'm going to sew up your shoulder, so your father doesn't get suspicious," I said and got to work when Mordred got back. I stitched it carefully and gently as he looked away and gritted his teeth. I finished and tied it off. "I guess you'll be leaving soon," I said sadly.

"Yeah, I guess I'll have to," he said almost as sadly. I looked at my hands in my lap and my vision blurred. The tears started darkening the fabric of my tunic. He put his finger beneath my chin and made me look at him. The tears were streaming down my face now. "Don't cry," he whispered putting our foreheads together. I felt his breath warm on my face and the tears ceased a little. He gently pressed his lips to mine and cupped my cheek. I moved my lips in synch with his and when the need for air became too much we broke apart and I buried my head in his good shoulder.

"I-I want you to come to Camelot with me. Mordred too of course," he said hesitantly. I snapped up.

"What?"

"I want you to come back with me. If you wanted to," he said looking away. "But you wouldn't want to leave this place. I shouldn't have asked."

"Okay," I said.

"Okay what?" he asked confused.

"We'll go with you, to Camelot." I looked in his eyes and he watched me carefully to see if I was joking. "There's nothing for us here anymore. We can always come back if we must but we'll go."

"Well we better go soon before Father sends troops for me, he wouldn't spare the people here." He got up and helped me up and we went to my tent. I grabbed my leather pack and folded my cloak, dress from last night, red tunic, and blue neckerchief and put them in there. I put my spell book in it too and packed my rolls of paper, inkwell, and quill. I put in the blank book that Holly had given me all those years ago. I pulled out a few blankets and wrapped some bread and cheese for the journey. I tied on my red neckerchief and went to Mordred's tent.

"Hey Mordred, we're going to Camelot. Pack your things quickly," I said throwing him a leather pack. He pushed a few tunics, trousers, his cloak, a few of his books, the storybook Holly had gotten him for his second birthday, and a blanket. I helped him into it and went to Rose's. We said good-bye to her and she gave us a pendant. Then we got three horses from the community stables. We rode silently and had to make camp when the sun started going down. I lit a fire and got a small bit of dinner passed around.

"Merlin?" Mordred asked later that night when we were laying down.

"Hm?" I asked sleepily.

"Are we in trouble? Is that we had to leave?" he asked sounding a bit scared. I sat up and sat him in my lap. Arthur listened from afar because he was on watch.

"No Mordred, Arthur offered for us to come and live at Camelot. He wanted us there, he didn't want to leave us," I explained stroking his hair.

"Why?" He asked curiously. "He doesn't even know us that well."

"I don't know. One can only wonder," I said looking at Arthur. He got up and walked over to us and looked into Mordred's eyes.

"I wanted you to come with you because I'd miss you. I wanted to keep you all near me," he said laying a hand on Mordred's forehead.

"Why? Do you love Merlin?" he asked gauging both our reactions. Arthur smiled.

"I think I do. I don't know," he said this looking at me. "Like you said, I don't know you very well." He looked back at Mordred, "Now get some sleep."

I shifted him to be lying with his head on my lap and I covered him with his blanket. I decided to sing him a lullaby. I started singing while stroking his har.

_**Come stop your crying it will be all right**_

_**Just take my hand hold it tight**_

_**I will protect you from all around you**_

_**I will be here don't you cry**_

_**For one so small you seem so strong**_

_**My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm**_

_**This bond between us can't be broken**_

_**I will be here don't you cry**_

_**Cause you'll be in my heart**_

_**Yes you'll be in my heart**_

_**From this day on, now and forever more**_

_**You'll be in my heart no matter what they say**_

_**You'll be here in my heart, always**_

I finished and he was sleeping soundly. I kissed his forehead and leaned back on the log that we had sat on. Arthur smiled. "That was nice."

"It was something my mother sang to me, there's more but he always falls asleep at that point so I never finish it," I said.

"Finish I want to hear it. I promise I won't fall asleep," he teased.

"Alright," I said. I cleared my throat and began from where I had left off.

_**Don't listen to them cause what do they know**_

_**We need each other, to have, to hold**_

_**They'll see in time**_

_**I know**_

_**When destiny calls you**_

_**You must be strong**_

_**I may not be with you but you've got to hold on**_

_**They'll see in time**_

_**I know**_

_**We'll show them together**_

_**Cause you'll be in my heart**_

_**Believe me, you'll be in my heart**_

_**From this day on now and forever more**_

_**Yes, you'll be in my heart**_

_**No matter what they say**_

_**You be here in my heart, always**_

_**Always**_

_**Always**_

__I finished and felt my eyes drooping down. I fell asleep and the next two days were filled with traveling to Camelot.


	3. Chapter 3

We got to a hill overlooking Camelot we stopped and looked for a while. The citadel loomed over the lower town and I felt a cool breeze ripple through the trees and ruffled our hair. The trees whispered words from the ancient language. I let the breeze fill me up and then we went down to the castle. I adjusted Arthur's sling after he dismounted. I fixed Mordred's hair and clothes and did the same for myself. Arthur chuckled at me and I stuck my tongue out.

Arthur led me to a hallway that I assumed lead to the audience chamber. Arthur told me that he was to present us to the king. I fixed Mordred's hair nervously and Arthur set a hand on my shoulder. He walked in with us close behind him. He bowed before his father who stood hastily. "Arthur! We were about to send a search party for you! Where have you been?" he snapped not sounding concerned at all.

"I'm sorry father, I was ambushed by bandits on my ride through the forest and I was injured. I was fortunate enough to be helped by this brave young woman and her adopted son," he said gesturing to his arm and then to us. I just curtsied modestly while looking at the floor. I gave Mordred a look and he bowed hastily. I put a hand on his shoulder and pulled him to my side as Uther glared down at him. "This is Merlin and Mordred. They healed me. I was hoping that they could stay here," Arthur said hesitantly.

"Yes, if she's as good a healer as you say then she can stay with Gaius. Gaius show the girl to her room," Uther said smiling at me.

"What about Mordred?" I asked and then added "Milord."

He looked at the boy with disdain and said finally, "I suppose if he doesn't get into too much trouble he can stay with Gaius also." I curtsied and an older man ushered us over introducing himself as Gaius the Court Physician.

Arthur gave us an encouraging look and I smiled back, it didn't go unnoticed by the King and Gaius. I looked at the floor and once the Court was dismissed Gaius and Arthur led us to Gaius's chambers. It was a medium room lined with books and one of the two tables was filled with potion brewing materials. The shelf behind it was filled with ingredients. "Marvelous," I whispered. Arthur smiled as I looked around the room. When my eyes landed on Arthur he was still smiling and I grinned back. Gaius cleared his throat.

We all looked at him and he said, "May I have a word with you Arthur, and Merlin. Mordred, why don't you go up the stairs there and start unpacking you and Merlin's things?" He nodded and left to the stairs. "What's going on here?"

Arthur and I both tried to put on innocent faces but Gaius wouldn't have it. "I may be an old man but you can't fool me Arthur Pendragon what is going on between you two?"

Arthur sighed, "I truly don't know yet Gaius, I'm definitely fond of the two."

"This is more than fondness Arthur. It doesn't look good, especially to the gossip mongers of the ladies and servant girls. And you father," he said raising an eyebrow.

"And what are they going to say? It makes no sense to spread gossip about the prince."

"Truthfully Arthur there will be many versions of the same story. Merlin is your mistress and Mordred is your illegitimate son. You were attacked while riding out to see them, I could tell by the look in your Father's eye that thought was running through his head." Gaius sat down in a near-by chair, "You two are going to be the talk of the kingdom by tomorrow morning." I groaned. I was trying not to be noticed and now I got to be Arthur's "mistress"? What did I ever do to deserve this?

"Alright, I'll try not to get hurt," he teased. "I won't send as many knights to you either Gaius."

"Good, Leon and Lancelot's shoulders still haven't healed," Gaius said mixing some liquids together. "Now Merlin I need you to take this to Lancelot. He should be in the armory. Arthur why don't you show your mistress the armory," he said faintly amused. Arthur and I both turned scarlet. Arthur led me toward the door.

"Mordred I'll be out for a while be good young man!" I shouted, grabbed the bottle from Gaius, and left with Arthur to go to the armory. When we got there all I saw for a while was racks and racks of weapons of all sorts.

"Lance? You in here?" Arthur said loudly. We heard a crash and then a head of dark curls popped up from behind a rack of shields. He brushed the curls out of his face and he was grinning.

"Hello Arthur… and who is this beauty?" He asked cheekily rubbing his left shoulder. I blushed lightly. Arthur looked like he was stewing.

"I'm Merlin, Gaius's new assistant. I've come to bring you something for your shoulder," I said raising it up and walking around the rack precariously. I handed it to him and he smiled genuinely. I smiled back and Arthur jerked me back by my arm. "Arthur Pendragon if you jerk my arm again so help me!" I shouted and smacked his right shoulder, his bad one.

"I don't think I'm going to have to worry about a pretty thing like you Merlin. It seems you already know the right way to handle a young Pendragon," he said cheekily which earned him getting a shield thrown at him which he caught easily. He laughed at Arthur who had gone completely red. I smiled at the look on Arthur's face.

"Come on Merlin we should leave Lancelot to his duties," he said. We walked back to Gaius who when asked said that there was nothing for me to do and that Arthur should show me around the castle. Arthur was quickly called away so I went to the only place I knew, the armory. Lance was still there organizing things and looking at a lost and chewing his lip.

"Hey," I said knocking on the door. He looked up and smiled.

"Hello, to what do I owe the pleasure?" he said bowing low. I giggled and shrugged.

"Gaius doesn't need me and Arthur was called away," I said, "and it looks like you need help."

"Yeah, Arthur has me doing organization and inventory," he made a face, "But it looks like it hasn't been done since before Uther was born. This will take a while. If you want to help come on in."

"Sure tell me what to do," I said and we got to work racking the swords and shields and everything else in between. We worked until a girl around my age walked in. I was helping Lance polish the boots when she walked in with a basket.

"Hello Lancelot," she said not noticing me.

"Hello Guinevere," he said smiling. "May I introduce to you Miss Merlin?"

"Oh hello, I didn't see you there!" she said happily. I waved and went back to polishing the boot in my hand. "I brought you something to eat."

"Thank you Gwen," they smiled at each other and I knew they liked each other.

"Well, Lance. It's been nice to get to know you but I better get back to Gaius," when I said that Gwen's face dropped.

"You're Gaius's new assistant?" she asked.

"Yes that's me." I smiled and she looked down guiltily. "What is it?"

"It's just that…" she said not looking at me.

"If it's about the rumors you can tell me." I said. Lance looked at Gwen and then me and then back at Gwen.

"It's just people are saying that you and Arthur are together," she said.

"People are saying that I'm Arthur's mistress and that Mordred's his illegitimate son. Gaius predicted this would happen. Well I'm here to say that Arthur and I have never met before a few days ago and Mordred was the son of a friend of mine. I promised that if anything happened to her I'd take care of him," I said. "I'm not worried about what people make up about me. I think Lance is a nice person and you too Guinevere, I want you to know the truth."

"I'd never believe anything those gossip mongers said, especially about a sweet girl like you Merlin," he said.

"Thank you Lance. Well I better go," I said walking out the door. I walked back to Gaius's chamber and he was sitting there talking to Mordred, teaching it looked like, on what potion he was making. "Hey you two," I said.

"Hello Merlin, Gaius was teaching me to brew that healing potion. It gets rid of muscular pain," he said excitedly. "I made that one, with Gaius's help of course."

"Good job Mordred," I said patting his head distractedly. "Gaius is there anything I can do. I need to keep busy. Idle minds and idle hands bring nothing but trouble."

"You can run these to Leon, who should be guarding Arthur's chamber and then take this to Arthur. For his shoulder." Then he explained how to get to Arthur's chambers from here. I walked off and outside the door stood one guard. There was muffled shouting coming from the other side.

"Are you Leon?" I asked over the noise. He nodded. "Gaius said to give you this for your shoulder."

"Thanks," he said and when I approached the door he touched my shoulder. "I wouldn't go in there if I were you." I shrugged and opened the door. The shouting had ceased.

"Arthur, I've brought you something for your shoulder," I said seeing Arthur and Uther red-faced in the middle of a wrecked room. "Is this a bad time, I can come back." I turned to leave but Arthur grabbed my shoulder.

"No, Merlin it's fine. I'll take it," he said gently. I handed him the bottle and went to leave. "Merlin could you take a look at my shoulder, it's been bothering me and I don't want to send for Gaius since you're right here."

"Of course," I said helping him with his tunic. My hands shook because I could feel Uther's cold gaze at my back. Arthur "accidentally" brushed my hand and I felt calm, I've done this many times and now was no different. I un-bandaged his shoulder and inspected the stitches. He had popped almost all of them. "You've popped your stitches sire. I'll be right back with the right materials and I'll fix them." I ran to Gaius's chambers and got my supplies and ran back. The room was deathly silent. I set up the needle and thread on his desk table and rubbed a healing and numbing salve on the wound gently. I let it soak into his skin and then started stitching him up with the stitches closer together. I put some more healing salve on his shoulder and re-bandaged it.

"I don't think you should need the sling anymore but I think you should take it easy. No training with the knights for a while. You'll pop your stitched again and have to wear the sling. I don't even want you fighting with the other hand, understand?" he nodded. "I'm leaving the salves here with you. If they start to itch or hurt just rub a bit of both on them and that should help. You may need a sleeping draught but don't hesitate to call Gaius or I." Uther's arms were crossed and he didn't look happy. I helped situate his tunic.

"Alright but if I get out of shape it's your fault."

"It shouldn't take that long to heal if you follow instructions," I said. He nodded and I took the needle and extra thread and left with a clipped bow. The room stayed silent.

"Thanks, I was beginning to go deaf from their hollering," Leon joked. I nodded and he bowed. I walked back to Gaius's and helped around with Mordred. The night ushered in quickly and soon I was tucking Mordred in. In our room there was only one bed so he insisted the he take a bedroll and sleep on the floor. I kissed his forehead and he drifted off. I went back out to where Gaius was sitting and sighed. "A bit different than you thought huh?" he asked. I nodded. "You should get some sleep my girl." I yawned and headed to the bedroom. I curled up on the bed and quietly fell asleep. A few hours later there was a soft knock at the door in the front. I sat up and grabbed my jacket, slipping it on and opened the door sleepily. There was a guard.

"Miss Merlin?" he asked.

"Yes? That's me," I said.

"Prince Arthur summons you to his chambers, he said it was urgent," he said. I nodded.

"What is it about did he say?" I asked.

"No but he looked to be in pain, quite a bit," he informed. I nodded and told him to tell Arthur that I'd be there soon. I grabbed a needle and thread and both the salves. I walked to the Prince's chambers and I heard a groan come from behind the door. I opened it and there lay Arthur gripping his shoulder and face marred by pain.

"Arthur?" I asked walking up to his bed slowly. He looked at me and grimaced. "What's wrong?"

"My shoulder, something's wrong with it. It hurts too much to move it and it throbs when I don't," he said sounding strained. I nodded and started to examine it. He had popped all his stitches and ripped the thin layer of skin that had started growing back.

"You've popped out your stitches and ripped the skin. I told you to take it easy!" I said sharply. I softened, "Why don't you listen Arthur? Nevermind that, you will be on bed-rest tomorrow Arthur Pendragon, no arguments. Now let me fix this." I stitched it carefully and tightly. I went to get up but Arthur grabbed my arm.

"Can you stay for a little while?" he asked childishly. "Will you stay until I fall asleep?" I nodded and he asked something that surprised me. "Will you sing to me? You have the prettiest voice I've ever heard. Please?"

I kissed his forehead and stroked his golden locks, "Alright."

_**Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby**_

_**Back to the years of loo-le- lai-lay**_

_**And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll see you tomorrow**_

_**Bless you with love for the road that you go**_

_**May you sail fair to the far fields of fortune**_

_**With diamond and pearls at you head and your feet**_

_**And may you need never to banish misfortune**_

_**May you find kindness in all that you meet**_

_**May there always be angels to watch over you**_

_**To guide each step of the way**_

_**To guard you and keep you safe from all harm**_

_**Loo-le-loo-le-lai-lay**_

_**May you bring love and may you bring happiness**_

_**Be loved in return till the end of your day**_

_**Now fall off to sleep**_

_**I'm not meaning to keep you**_

_**I'll just sit for a while and sing**_

_**Loo-le-lai-lay**_

_**May there always be angels to watch over you**_

_**To guide each step of the way**_

_**To guard and keep safe from all harm**_

_**Loo-le-loo-le-lai-lay**_

_**Loo-le-loo-le-lai-lay**_

He was asleep by the time I finished and stroked his hair and then kissed his forehead before I left. I walked out and informed the guard that Arthur was to be on bed-rest until further notice. He nodded and I went back to bed.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up later than usual and Mordred was gone. I walked out to see him and Gaius brewing some potions. I watched silently and they didn't notice me. Gaius turned to get an ingredient and saw me. I put a finger to my lips and smiled. He finished the potions with Mordred and then Mordred spotted me. "Good morning Merlin," he said.

"Good morning Mordred. You seem to be having fun. Learning anything?"

"Yes! Gaius is an amazing teacher and it's so fun!" He said excitedly. I nodded and sat down at one of the tables. I yawned and tried to shake off the fatigue but when a certain prince wakes you up to fix his shoulder and makes you sing a lullaby it makes you tired. I immediately snapped to attention, I had to make sure Arthur was still in bed! I walked out without an explanation ignoring the stares I got. I knocked and when I didn't get a reply I walked in anyway.

What I saw made me see red. Arthur was standing there doing his stretches as if he was going to train with the knights! "Arthur Pendragon get back into bed NOW!" I shouted. He jumped and I stomped in. "I told you that you were to be on bed-rest! Now get in BED!" He looked at me and I glared back.

"I remember nothing of THAT conversation," he said.

"So you don't remember when you asked me to sing you to sleep either I suppose," I said. Arthur squeaked and turned as crimson as the clothes he had on. "So you do, now get into bed!" I pushed him backwards knowing he'd land into bed but what I didn't know was that he'd grab me to try and steady himself. But I wasn't that strong, I fell with him and landed right on top of him. Our bodies fitted together perfectly and we looked in each other's eyes for what seemed like forever. His door opened and in the doorway stood four people, the worst four people to have seen Arthur's little flub. Uther, the king's ward Morgana, Lance, and Guinevere.

Arthur and I tore our eyes from each other to look at the door and I was mortified. I immediately jumped up and cleared my throat feeling heat crawl up my neck. I rushed out pushing past everyone and running. I knew I was lost when I looked around and nothing looked familiar. I leaned against a tapestry but I fell backwards. I looked behind it to see a hidden alcove and climbed in. I buried my head in my knees and tried to be still my wildly beating heart.

"Merlin?" I heard someone call. I curled up tighter. "Merlin?" I heard again but closer. The tapestry was pulled back to reveal Lance and Arthur. I groaned and buried my head between my arms. I didn't want to talk to them now.

I felt someone sit down next to me. "I'm sorry," Arthur said lifting up my chin, "I was stupid and reckless. I should have known that you wouldn't have been able to hold me up," he said softly. He gently brought my lips to his and Lance dropped his hold on the tapestry. For a while we battled for dominance and finally Arthur gave in and I was in control. I felt nothing, like I was hollow inside so I broke away and buried my head in my knees again. "I'm sorry that isn't going to help."

"Arthur just go," I said feeling as if I was going to cry.

"But-"

"Please, just go." I heard him stand up and some whispers between Lance and Arthur and then receding footsteps. But only one set. Lancelot drew back the tapestry and sat down next to me letting it fall back into place.

"You okay?" he asked sounding genuinely concerned.

"Would you believe me if I said yes?"

"No."

"Than no." I said. He rubbed my back soothingly and I threw my arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder. He rocked me and rubbed my back not saying anything. When my sobs subsided into hiccups I leaned away and Lance handed me a handkerchief.

"That face is a fright," he teased lightly. I chuckled half-heartedly and He helped me up and we walked out from behind the tapestry. "Good luck, you might want to talk to Arthur though." He hugged me and I gave him a squeeze. I wandered around the castle and I couldn't ignore the looks I got and the clips of comments I heard people whisper.

"That's here."

"Yeah the one that's been sleeping with Arthur."

"She's supposedly having another one of his illegitimate children."

"I can't believe she'd just give herself to him like that."

I heard whispers of other things, insults I wasn't supposed to hear.

"Harlot."

"Whore."

I tried to block it out that it didn't bother me but it started to sting, people who didn't know me and that I didn't know were judging me and they had no idea what was going on. I ran around and I finally came outside and ran out the gates, out of the city, and into the woods. I ran until I ran right into a tree branch and fell to the ground, felt the blood trickling down my forehead, and passed out.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up and it was the middle of the night, cold, and I was lost. I felt my head and immediately nausea crept over me. I crawled over to a tree and propped myself making my head spin and I felt like retching. I felt a cold sweat break out all over my body and I started shaking violently. I felt my magic goes scatterbrained and bursts of magic made the air crackle like burning paper. I felt my chest heaving up and down and my throat starting contracting. I crawled away and retched violently, my whole body heaving. I crawled back to my tree and leaned against it shaking and wiping my mouth.

I felt like my whole body was in a trance, like I couldn't control it. I heard muffled yells and saw small lights dancing far away and winking between the trees. I went to yell but my mouth felt like it was full of cotton. I tried to swallow but it was difficult and I couldn't yell for help. The lights started getting farther away and I felt the tears burn my eyes. I closed my eyes and decided it wasn't worth it, I give up. I felt a light blind me and I closed my eyes and went out again.

When I woke up I had a piece of material over my eyes and I sat up. I felt dizziness wash over me and the material was removed from my eyes by a pair of warm hands. I blinked and there sat a whole mess of people. Mordred, Gaius, Lancelot, Leon, Guinevere, Morgana, and other people I didn't know including a blonde haired young man.

"Thank God Merlin!" the blonde said throwing his arms around me. I immediately started to fall but he had me. I looked around blearily not understanding what happened. He pulled away and I looked at him, who was this? "What is it Merlin?"

"Who are you?" I asked looking at him. He looked familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it.

Everyone looked at him and then at me. I didn't understand, was I supposed to know him? He looked about ready to cry. "You don't remember me?"

"I'm sorry, have we met before?" I asked not understanding. Why was he crying if I didn't know him? "Don't cry sir," I said wiping away his tears.

He got up and ran from the room and I just watched. I cocked my head, why was he so familiar? "Will someone tell me what's going on? Lance? Leon? Gaius? Gwen? Lady Morgana? Mordred?" I looked at everyone.

Gaius sat down and looked at me curiously. "You remember us?" I nodded.

"Of course I do."

"Hmm, this just gets more curious by the second," Gaius said. "I thought she had amnesia but it seems as if she only forgot Arthur."

"Who's Arthur?" I asked. I was ignored.

"I've never heard of something like this before," Gaius said looking in one of his medical books. He flipped through it and then picked up another. "There's nothing in here!" He shouted frustrated. I flinched at the sound and cowered behind the pillow. I shook uncontrollably and Lance sat down on the edge of the bed and laid a hand over mine. I kept shaking but less than before. I felt dizzy and started to fall backwards but Lance jumped up and caught me just in time easing me down onto the bed. I looked around not able to focus on anything. "Merlin, I'm going to give you a sleeping draught okay?" Gaius said tipping the vial into my mouth. Soon after sleep claimed me and then there was nothing.

I woke up and the room was empty other than the blonde boy who I think his name was Arthur. He had his head on the bed and was sound asleep. I tried to leave without him waking up but he stirred when I went to open the door. He rose his head up and I smiled. "Morning Arthur," I said.

He jumped up and hugged me. "You remember!" he yelled and kissed me. I pushed him away and slapped him, hard. He looked at me stunned. "Merlin…"

"You have no right to kiss me! I don't even know you!" I yelled angrily. I wiped my mouth and stormed away. Gaius looked at me strangely and I felt strange like I had done that before. I shook the thought out of my head.

"Merlin! I thought you remembered!" he yelled holding his now red cheek.

"Remember what! I've haven't met you until yesterday! I may have hit my head but I'm not stupid, I can remember your name!" I shouted angrily. "Don't make me slap you again!" I stomped away down a corridor that I' never seen. It led to a staircase which I took all the way up. When it opened up I was outside, on the roof! I looked out at the kingdom and felt an overwhelming sense to cry over Arthur. I cried in frustration that I couldn't remember who he was. I yelled my frustration and then suddenly stopped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked behind me to see a very attractive young man behind me. If I'd met him I'd definitely remember that!

He had shoulder-length brown hair, a scraggly beard trimmed close to his chin, and a smirk plastered across his face. "You okay?" he asked. I nodded. "What's your name, I'm Gwaine."

"Merlin, my name's Merlin," I said and sniffed. He smiled at me.

"Why are you out here screaming?" He asked. I looked around wondering if anyone else had heard me.

"I'm frustrated, everyone's saying I know this one blonde guy and I've never seen him before. They say I have a thing called amnesia but I remember everyone else! I don't know him and yet I feel like I do! He's so hurt by me not remembering and I'm not sure if it's remembering or not!" I felt the tears start to run down my face. I sniffed, "And now I'm ranting to a complete stranger, or did I forget you too." I said the last bit bitterly.

"Nope never seen you before, how about you come over here and give me a hug! It looks as if you could use it!" he said putting his arms straight out. I walked over and he hugged me tightly. He smelled like apples and the faint scent of alcohol. "Why don't you come to the tavern and we can have a drink!" I nodded.

"Sounds fun!" I said and Gwaine and I walked to the tavern.

**~Time Skip about three drinks later~**

"And then," hic, "I fell!" I said loudly. I felt dizzy and my head couldn't really comprehend what I was saying. "You know Gwaine, I think that you're amazing! You really are, you're funny, clever, and handsome as a devil! Plus you can handle alcohol SO much better than me!"

Gwaine laughed, "Yes, many years of practice. Where should I take you?" he asked.

"To Gaius, the Court Physician. He won't be happy that I'm practically singing like a sailor!" I said laughing for no reason. Gwaine put my arm around his shoulder and we walked to Gaius's chambers. I was giggling and when Gwaine went to leave I stopped him. I pulled his arm and pecked him on the mouth and giggled like a schoolgirl. He smiled and bade me good evening. He bowed and I curtsied clumsily. I walked in the door and Gaius was giving me a look.

"Where have you been?" he asked sternly.

"The tavern," I said flippantly.

"Now where have you really been?" he asked arms crossed.

"I said the tavern, having a few drinks with a really handsome guy named Gwaine. He's quite the gentleman, he even walked me home!" I said loudly.

"Are you drunk?" he asked.

"Maybe, a little bit yeah."

"Merlin!" Gaius said surprised. "How much did you drink?"

"Only three tankards of mead!" I protested.

"Merlin?" Mordred asked sleepily walking out of our bedroom. I ran up to him and picked him up, swinging him around. "What's wrong Merlin?"

"She's had a bit too much to drink Mordred," Gaius explained.

"Mordred, remember when you said you wanted me to be happy?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said hesitantly.

"Well, I think I could be! I met a very nice man that I think you would like, his name is Gwaine," I said. He nodded and led me to the bedroom.

"Why don't you go to sleep Merlin, you look tired," he said laying me down and tucking me in.

"Alright, I love you!" I called as he shut the door. I fell asleep and curled up in on myself.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke with a splitting headache and I felt terrible! I sat up and felt like my head was being split in half. The sun streaming in through the window wasn't helping either. I hung my legs over the side of the bed and rubbed my temples. I stood and wobbled out to Gaius. I saw he was talking to a young man, and when he turned around I realized it was Gwaine!

I rubbed my eyes sleepily, "Gwaine?" I asked groggily. I blushed as I remembered what I had done. "What are you doing here?"

"I came here to see how you were doing," he said sheepishly. "I was hoping that we could take a walk if you could handle it."

"Yeah, just let me get cleaned up real quick," I said. I walked back into my room and washed my face, combed my hair, and braided it. I walked out feeling a bit better but refusing to go to the tavern under any circumstances! We were about to leave when a guard called after me.

"Miss Merlin, Arthur wants you in his chambers to look at his shoulder. If you'd come with me," he said walking away.

"Just go to Gaius's and I'll be right back!" I said and followed the guard. I walked into a semi-familiar room. "Hello?" I asked. Arthur walked out from behind his dressing screen without a shirt.

"I need you to look at my shoulder, it's bothering me again," he said. I nodded and he gestured to the bandages. I unwound them and took a look, something clicking in my brain, I'd treated this wound myself. "Everything all right?"

"Yeah," I said. "Everything looks normal. Is it itching?" he nodded, "Good that means it's healing. Take that salve and rub it in. That should help, just don't scratch." He nodded and I distractedly watched him and then left, completely confused. I'd never met him but I'd treated his wound. I ran into someone and I apologized. It was Gwaine.

"Hello," he said.

"Hello," I said. "Let's go on our walk." He nodded and we walked up to the roof. We walked along up there and sat down by one of the parapets. I closed my eyes and let the wind blow on my cheeks. "Have you ever felt like you've done something before but you know that you haven't?"

"Yeah, why?" Gwaine said.

"Because when Arthur asked me to treat his shoulder I knew I was the one that had treated it before. I had a feeling, a strong one," I said. "I felt almost like… I don't know."

"Hmm, I don't know Merlin," Gwaine said. "Well I better go," He stood up and we stood there, his hand covering mine, and close. Really close. I felt a pull to him and he leaned forward and our lips met. I ran my hand through his hair and he cupped my cheek. I felt an electric shock ripple through me and I pulled away suddenly. I felt like someone was watching us and that's when I spotted him, Arthur.

He was wide-eyed and mouth agape. I suddenly felt terrible. Arthur took off down the stairs. "Arthur!" I yelled and wondered why I was so upset that he was and guilty that I had kissed Gwaine. I ran after him and caught up with him quickly. "Arthur! Wait!" I said. He stopped and I ran right into him.

"What!" he snapped angrily. I flinched at how cold he was acting. I cowered back and he softened and sighed. "What?" he asked again.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "If I don't remember you than I have to move on. You have to forget me." I walked back to Gwaine and collapsed into his embrace. He rubbed my back and I silently cried into his shoulder. I sniffed finally and he gave me a light kiss that said I'm sorry. I smiled feebly and he tried to smile back. "This day keeps getting weirder and weirder," I mumbled. Gwaine nodded and I gave him a swift peck and told him I had to go.

I walked back to Gaius and he looked at me strangely. I watched him back and he finally looked back to his work. "Do you have anything for me do?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Not until these last potions are finished. Although, if you would, I need some more herbs," he said. "But they can only be picked at night." I nodded and the Gaius handed me potions telling me where they went and how to get there. One was to the King. I walked there first since he was the most important. I knocked and heard him yell for me to enter.

"Hello Sire, Gaius has sent this for you," I said smiling and he sent me a glare. I looked at the floor.

"You have crushed my son's heart young lady," he said.

"Who's your son?" I asked. He looked at me and said.

"Arthur." Hearing that name made my heart sink into my stomach. "I hope you really don't remember him and not have fallen out love of him. He loved you and even still does, whether you remember it or not."

"Is that all Sire?" I asked. He nodded and I curtsied and rushed to get my errands done. I hurried through the palace and ended at around dark at Gaius's chambers to throw on a cloak and run to the forest. I knocked my head on a branch and fell over. I held my head and a flash of memories, or what I assumed to be memories, ran through my head. All of them Arthur. A specific scene I caught and watched. It was me singing Arthur to sleep and then flashed me kissing Arthur, twice. I stood up and ran back to the castle the herbs long forgotten.

I ran straight to Arthur's rooms and barged right in without knocking. He stood there in just his pants but I didn't care. I ran to him and jumped, locking my arms around his neck and hugging him. He staggered and then pried me off him, I was crying and laughing at the same time. "I remember! I remembered!" I said and he looked at me like I was crazy. "I'm so sorry Arthur! I never meant to hurt you! I love you!" the last part was muffled because I was hugging him again.

"Merlin?" he asked, "Do you really remember again? How?" I started to explain and at the end he laughed and kissed me and spun me around. "Thank God I thought I'd lost you!" He hugged me tightly and I cried so hard that my face probably looked awful. "Why did you run off?"

"The insults and talk that I heard as I walked around the castle became too much! I just started running and hit my head!" I said and stopped crying. We both had cried ourselves out and Arthur kept me in his grip and I was still buried in Arthur's broad chest. "I'm so sorry." He stroked my hair and rocked me back and forth and everything felt fine.

"You better go, it's getting pretty late and Gaius will worry about you," he said and I kissed him good-bye and left. I walked down to Gaius's chambers and told him that I was going for a walk and would be back soon. I walked to the roof and sat down. I looked up at the stars and was surprised to see Gwaine asleep a little ways away when I looked around. I got up and walked over to him and nudged him with my boot. He snapped awake and looked up at me and smiled.

"Hello, sit down." I did as I was told and avoided looking at Gwaine. "What? What is it?"

"Nothing," I said and looked at him finally. He was looking up and then at me.

"Oh it's something, I can tell when something's bothering you, you scrunch up your nose and your forehead wrinkles," he said. I felt my nose and it was scrunched. I blanked out my face and smiled. "And that is the fakest smile I've ever seen in my life."

"It's nothing, nothing that I think you need to worry about." He gave me a look. "What?"

"Tell me, you've told me pretty much everything since I met you."

"Alright but you're not going to like it, I got my memories back, all of them. Now I feel guilty for kissing you and making Arthur feel so lousy and I do like you but I've fallen for Arthur twice now and if that tells you anything other than I'm an idiot," I took a deep breath, "I have no idea what it means and I don't know if I have to choose and if I do who do I choose…" I babbled on for a while for one continual sentence and Gwaine sat looking at me wide-eyed for a while. He finally just started laughing and I stopped my stream of babble. "What?"

"It's obvious, you're overthinking it, I know exactly who you should choose. Choose Arthur," he said. "If you fell for him twice I think someone's trying to tell you something! Love that prat, not me. I'll get over it." He kissed my forehead and left the roof.


	7. Chapter 7

I went to Arthur shortly after and knocked, for once. I opened the door quietly and peeked in, he was sleeping so I went back to my room and went to sleep and had a weird dream. I woke up and knew it was a dream but it felt so real. I was in a house that I didn't recognize. I sat up and my hair curtained around me and I felt a pair of arms snake around my middle. When I felt skin against skin I realized I was naked. I felt someone nuzzled into my neck and press a gentle kiss to it. I turned in their grasped and it was Gwaine! "Morning Princess," he said quietly chuckling. I looked around and spotted a ring on the fourth finger of my left hand. I was married to Gwaine! "What is it?"

"Nothing, just tired," I lied. He gave my cheek a peck and got up to dress himself. I looked away at the paintings on the wall and felt Gwaine turn my head. He gave me a gentle kiss and told me he had to leave for a bit but that he'd be back. "Alright, don't get into any trouble."

"Me? Trouble?" he asked innocently. I gave him a stern look and he walked out. I rushed to dress and found a plain white dress with a brown corset and put them on. I looked around the house and it was a simple cottage with a hard-packed dirt floor and little hearth for cooking and warmth. A few seconds later Gwaine walked in with some flowers, a blanket, and a basket.

"What's that for?" I asked. He handed me the flowers and tucked a small white flower behind my ear.

"We're going on a picnic," he announced looking pleased with himself. We walked to a clearing outside of town and laughed and ate for a while and before I knew it I was laying with my head on his chest and the sun was going down. Even though the day had been fun I still felt like something was missing, like part of me was still unhappy. "I love you." I heard him say distantly and that's when I woke up for real. I looked around and it was still dark so I settled back to sleep.

I woke up in a big bed that seemed vaguely familiar. The sheets were white and the blanket over it was a bright crimson as were the drapes that closed around the bed. I yawned and felt someone nudged the small of my back. I turned and there was a sleeping Arthur. He was still sleeping and the light filtering through the window made his gold locks shine. His arm was under my shoulder and the other folded right in front of his chest. His hair was rumpled from sleep and his bare chest rose up and down slowly with each breath. I felt his breath tickling my neck and face and he suddenly opened his eyes.

"Good morning sleepy," I said.

"Morning Merlin," he said pressing a kiss to my forehead. I spotted the tell-tale ring on both our fingers and knew this was a dream. "Are you still tired?"

"A bit," I lied. "What about you?"

"Yeah," he said and sat up stretching, "but a prince must get up early to attend his duties although I have most of today off. I'll be back later."

"I'll be fine here for a little while," I said. I kissed his cheek and he left to get ready. I stood up and the silk of my nightgown brushed against my ankles. He handed me a gown from the wardrobe that was very expensive looking. And we both dressed. This dream flew by quicker and soon enough we were in our bedroom in an all-out kissing war. He plopped me into his lap and laughed airily. I was flushed and felt the heat in my face and neck get even warmer. I felt myself slipping into sleep with his warmth surrounding me I woke up in reality once more.

I sat up and knew that I had to make a decision, one that could break one of the people I cared about's heart. I walked to Arthur's rooms after changing into the red tunic with my blue neckerchief. I opened the door slowly and I averted my eyes when I realized he was taking a bath. "G-good morning Arthur," I said trying not to look. I heard him moving around and all I could think of was the flashes of his bare torso and legs that I had seen. I tried to think of something, **ANYTHING**, to get my mind off Arthur Pendragon, naked about six feet in front of me.

"Morning," he said nonchalantly. "What, pray tell, do you want while I'm bathing?"

"I d-didn't know y-you were bathing you d-dollophead!" I yelled indignantly glaring at him and then quickly remembering his state turning my head the other way.

"Well get on with it!" he said sounding irritated.

"After your bath I'll need to speak with you. Privately, on the roof," I squeaked out pointing skyward. I saw out of the corner of my eye that he nodded so I left quickly to the roof and found Gwaine was already there.

"Hello love," he said grinning happily. I waved.

"Hello, uh, Gwaine I need you to stay here until Arthur gets here. I need to talk to you both. Together," I said. We waited until we saw Arthur walking up the steps carding his fingers through his damp hair and when he saw Gwaine he darkened considerably.

"What's _**he **_doing here?" he asked venomously.

" I needed to talk to both of you," I said feeling my voice tremble.

"Alright Merlin, say what you must," Gwaine said heavily.

"I've fallen for both of you," I said and my voice cracked. I cleared my throat and continued. "You both have your quirks that I love and things that I don't like. Arthur, you're strong, loyal, and you are truly concerned about your people. But you listen to your father without contradiction and that bothers me, especially about.." I said letting the thought trail off.

"Gwaine, you too are loyal and you listen to me and you care about what I have to say. But you drink too much and I'm not sure whether or not you could be relied upon when I need you. I need someone stable and trustworthy, I do trust you but I may not be able to for other things. Big things, secrets that need to be kept." He hung his head at this but the grin never faded. I looked at the ground and I felt so ashamed to point out their flaws in front of each other.

"I really do love both of you but I have to choose," I said and felt myself tear up. "Gwaine," and I looked up and Arthur looked at me with a sad smile. "I'm sorry, I just don't think it would work. We talked about this and I want you to be happy too." I walked up to him and gave him a gentle kiss and he smiled at me disappointedly. I smiled up at him and he walked away and I inched my way towards Arthur. He stood shell-shocked and I watched him slowly grasp that I had said that I had chosen him. He kissed me and I gripped his soft locks of blonde hair.

"Out of the corner of my eye I saw Gwaine leaning in the archway to the stairs and he smiled and went down them. I pulled away and hugged Arthur closely.


	8. Chapter 8

I walked with Arthur's hand over mine to Uther's chambers and I felt my hand tremble as we neared the door. Arthur gave it a reassuring squeeze and we walked through the door. Uther sat at his table with his maidservant bustling around tidying up the room. She bowed to Arthur and glared at me. I gave her a sweet smile like I didn't know why she was glaring. Uther looked up and grimaced but then quickly flashed a small smile. "What is it Arthur?"

"Father, I want to talk to you, in private." He glanced at the maid so she bowed and walked out. "Now that we're alone I want to talk to you about Merlin." Uther grimaced.

"What about her?" he asked looking at me and then at our entwined hands.

"I love her and I want to marry her," he stated simply. "I ask your blessing."

"Never!" Uther yelled standing. "She is a peasant and you are a prince. Or have you forgotten that your marriage is to gain us some allies?"

Arthur scoffed, "She can gain us allies, maybe she doesn't have a dowry that will restock the treasury four times over but isn't my happiness a factor in my marriage?" he asked.

"My marriage to your mother, God rest her soul, was arranged and we were happy," he said. "You're the future king and you will follow tradition! You will marry nobility if not other royalty!" I flinched but Arthur stood firm.

"As the future king I can marry whoever I want to!" Arthur roared angrily. "I was told by someone that I never contradict you and today that stops! I will set my own path!" With that he rushed out letting my hand drop and leaving me with the king alone.

"My king," I said and curtsied. "May I speak freely?"

"You might as well," he said sighing and sinking into his chair.

"Why limit who your son can love?" I started timidly. "Why not let him marry for love, that doesn't show weakness if that's what you're afraid of. It shows that you're willing to change to make the kingdom stronger, if you think an unhappy king is a strong one, you are sadly mistaken. I think you're mad to be honest!" I said raising my voice, "People should marry for love not convenience!" And with that I stormed out too. I went back to Gaius's chambers and he stood there with a very angry Arthur. They both looked at me and Arthur enveloped me in a hug.


	9. Chapter 9

Soon after our encounter with Uther, Arthur was given a quest to demolish the Druid camps in the Darkling woods. He was gone for a long time and when he came back he was pale, sickly, and looked horrified. It was starting to rain when he rode in. I walked up to him and he walked past me not even sparing me a glance. "Arthur!" I heard my voice ring out shakily. We were the only ones in the courtyard. "What happened?" He turned and took my arm roughly.

"You want to know what happened?" he asked sharply. I nodded, Arthur had never been so brutal to me and it scared me. "Fine, I killed them, all of them. First the men, then the women, and then the children," he said voice cracking on the last word. "They're all dead and it's my fault. All the people you once knew are dead and they can't come back! They trusted me at first and then I cut and hacked them to pieces. Their blood was and is on my hands, my skin, and my clothes! I smell it everywhere, I see it everywhere! The children begged for their lives! The looks on their faces were so terrified!" he gripped my arm tighter and I felt the tears well up in my eyes. No, Arthur would never do this.

"Their faces were just like yours is right now, petrified of me, you're scared now aren't you. Telling yourself that I would never do something like that. Well you're wrong! I slaughtered… no massacred innocent people because my father told me to!" He said and started to laugh bitterly. "You should have chosen Gwaine." He walked off and I felt pain shoot up my arm and I crumpled to the ground the tears flowing freely. This wasn't happening! The rain picked up and I ran, I ran to the Druid camp I had called home for years. It took the whole rest of the day but I didn't care, I had to see it for myself.

When I got there everything was quiet and still and then I saw it, the massive pile of bodies, dead center in the middle of town. The pain of my loss overtook me and I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed until the breath was gone and I was left gasping to get it back. "Whatever gods or goddesses there are, help me!" I said and then I saw a faint glow. It wasn't the harsh light of a lantern or torch but a radiant sort of glow. It came to rest right in front of me and blossomed into a lovely young girl. She stood there and smiled sadly.

"Why do you shed those tears Emrys?" She asked her voice lilting and musical.

"All these innocent people who I grew up around are dead, and killed by the man I love most in the world. He would never so something like this!" I said my voice watery from crying and scratchy from screaming. "If I had been here I could have stopped him! It's my fault!" I felt the sobs wracking my whole body. The young girl touched my cheek, her hand was warm and soothing. I trembled from the cold rain that was pelting me and I noticed that she wasn't getting wet.

"You couldn't have done anything Emrys, I promise you that. I am The Lady of the Lake and I am here to guide you. I can see the multiple futures and I saw the one where you stayed. Arthur stayed here too and they were both were slaughtered with the rest," she said and knelt next to me. She took the hem of her gold and white dress and brushed away the tears. The dark marks disappeared and she took her white cloak with gold leaves on the edges off and wrapped it around my shoulders. It kept her glow and protected my shoulders from the rain. It felt warm and I pulled it around me tighter and pulled the hood up. I felt almost as if I were sitting next to the fire in my childhood home before I joined the Druids.

I cried silently in mourning for my friends and then I decided to go back to Camelot and face the consequences. I walked slowly with this girl following me but she suddenly stopped and gasped as if in pain. "What is it?" I asked frantically.

"I cannot take another step Emrys, I am bound to the lake. It is my home and from what I draw my strength. I just want to warn you," she said taking a few steps back. "Be wary of Uther and The Once and Future King!" She shouted it and ran back to the lake. She dove in and was gone. I walked slowly and wearily back to Camelot not stopping for the night and I was surprised that I ran into Lancelot. He gave me a look over and then threw his cloak around my shoulders and pulled me close to share his body heat. The sun was just rising when we walked into Camelot. I got odd looks from passersby and so I pulled the hood up more.

Lance brought me directly to Gaius and helped me get off his and The Lady of the Lake's cloak. I shivered without it's warmth and Gaius moved my drenched hair off my forehead to take my temperature. His hand was warm and he made a noise of disapproval. "Your ice cold Merlin," he said. "Why did you run off yesterday?" he asked this very sternly.

"I had to see it myself," I said hoarsely.

"What?"

"The bodies," I said. "They were there, all of them. All the people I grew up with, the men and the women. Most of those children I delivered and now they're gone, all of them. Dead by Arthur's hand." My voice took on an eerie and haunted sound. "Piled up, like logs before you burn them, in the middle of the camp. The blood was everywhere! I was so scared! Then there was the lady."

"What lady Merlin?" Gaius asked.

"She was called The Lady of the Lake. That's where I got the cloak from," I said and pulled it around me once more. "Where's Arthur?" I asked this, tone sharp. He was going to pay for what he did!

"In his chambers, you can settle your quarrel with him another day Merlin," Lance said touching my shoulder. I hissed through gritted teeth.

"No! He shall pay for what he's done today!" I shouted leaping up and walking determinedly to his chambers. I threw back the hood of the cloak and threw the door open so it slammed against the wall. He looked up from his sword angrily, glaring but today I would not be frightened, I was going to punish him!

"What do you bloody want?" he asked sharpening his sword.

"Revenge, retribution, conviction, and remorse. I want to see you pay for your crimes!" I walked to him and he looked at me with disinterest. "You killed my people, people I cared about, just because Daddy told you to," I sneered. "Do you always do as Daddy says? Are you a Daddy's boy, too afraid to stand on your own?" I asked the anger bubbling up inside me. Arthur stood brandishing his sword.

"Take back your words or you will regret it," he said darkly.

"You're a coward hiding behind the figure of power, Uther, who has no power. Those with magic could easily kill all of you, like you killed the Druids but they don't. Did you ever ask yourself why? Would you like to know? Hm?" Arthur stared straight ahead. "Answer me!" I yelled.

"No. I don't care, if I die for my people then I'm a hero and they are the villain," he said stonily.

"But what if there are no people to die for? Would you still be a hero when there's no one to remember you?" I asked. He looked at me and pressed the blade of his sword to my throat but I was unafraid. "Well, would you?"

"Is that a threat?" he asked teeth gritted.

"No, merely a warning," I said offhandedly. "Although you will be punished for your transgressions against my people." Thanks when I punched him square in the face. He staggered back and I kicked the sword out of his hands. He stumbled and fell onto his back and I gave him a few swift kicks to the ribs. He grabbed my leg and ripped it out from under me. I tumbled to the ground and he punched me and punched me until I couldn't feel or think. I felt my head loll to the side limply and I could taste the blood from my nose and mouth.

He looked at me and I saw regret flash through his eyes so I flipped him and straddled him punching him until he and my knuckles were bloodied. I gave him one last punch to the jaw and my anger receded like a wave. I put him to sleep with magic and left him there walking out with my head held high. I got concerned looks from the maids and servants and looks of pity from the courtiers and knights. When Gwaine, Lancelot, Gwen and a few of the knights that they were friends walked pat me and they stopped and rushed over bombarding me with questions.

Above all I heard Gwaine and Lancelot ask darkly in unison, "Who did this to you?"

"Does it matter?" I asked coldly looking at the floor.

"Of course it does Merlin!" Gwaine said shaking my shoulders. He looked angry and sad at the same time. I gulped and the tallest knight pried Gwaine off me and smiled weakly.

"Please tell us Merlin," the knight said gently.

"Alright, but Gwaine promise you won't do anything!" I said. He nodded and I continued. "Alright, it was Arthur."

"I'm going to talk to him," Lance said walking toward Arthur's room. Gwen and the knights walked me to Gaius's chambers to get my face fixed.

"What happened to you?" Gaius asked sitting me down and inspecting my face. Mordred walked in and stood frozen in fear. He looked so scared and then he stared at the floor intently. "I asked you a question Merlin." He saw what I was looking at and quieted. He started cleaning my face as everyone stayed silent.

Mordred shuffled his feet and finally burst out, "Arthur did this didn't he?" I looked away from him and Gaius reprimanded me with a look. He moved to patch up my lip and he looked at me pointedly.

"I trust everyone here Gaius just say it," I said knowing what he wanted to say.

"Can't you use your healing powers to heal yourself. Your magic," he said and a few gasps went up.

"I could, but I won't. I want the bruises and cuts to stay so that Arthur will be reminded of what he's done. So he can regret it," I said. I brushed my hair out of my face and pulled it back with a leather cord. It left my bruises on display. I decided to spite Arthur that I would have my hair tied back so he could get a full view of what he'd done to me. "It's not like Arthur was the only one that landed a few blows."

"You hit Arthur? And he didn't do anything," Gwen said.

"I know I shouldn't have to remind you about the shape my face is in," I said and winced as Gaius pressed some salve into the wound. He then started bandaging my knuckles. "Yes I did get something in. I wasn't going to let Arthur intimidate me."

That's when Lance came in and he didn't have his cloak or sword. "He's really angry," Lance said. He pulled at a rip in his tunic that hadn't been there before. "He took my sword and used it to hit me over the head for not knocking, then he took my cloak to wipe the blood of the floor and his face, he also tried to get me to threaten Merlin and when I said I wouldn't he tried to throw me away from him but his finger was caught on my shirt and ripped it open," he said poking his finger through the hole.

We all sat thoughtfully for a while and I stood up. "I need to go talk to him. Actually talk," I said. I walked through them and down the halls silently. I knocked timidly on his door.

"Enter!" I heard him yell and he sounded somber. I walked in and closed the door behind me. I walked past a mirror on my way to Arthur and saw my reflection cringing. My lip had been slip from top to bottom in the corner left. I had a cut that slit my right eyebrow and a few scratches on my temple. I also had a few bruises that peppered my jawline. I walked up behind Arthur and tapped his shoulder.

He turned around and the pain flashed through his eyes. "Arthur-" I started but he cut me off by crushing his lips to mine.

I pushed him away and his eyes welled up with tears. "Arthur, I'm so sorry." My voice cracked as I said it. I looked up at his face and it was just as bad as mine. His jaw was covered in bruises, his nose and lip was bloodied, and his knuckles were cracked open and bleeding. I kissed his knuckles and wounds gently, each one in turn, the taste of blood pervading my mouth. I stopped when he hugged me tightly.

"Merlin do you know what made me fall for you?" Arthur said.

"What?" I asked looking into his eyes.

"This shoulder wound," he said. He pulled at his tunic to reveal the now healed wound.

"I kiss the wound that brought me your love," I said kissing his shoulder. He pulled me closer to him and I hugged him. I felt him pick me up and we both were on his bed. We fell asleep like that. Me entwined in his arms.


	10. Chapter 10

We woke up to utter darkness. I stood and wobbled over to the windows, pulling back the curtains. Light filtered in and Arthur gazed at me lovingly from his bed. His head was propped up on a hand while his elbow was set on the sheets. He stared at me and I turned to look out the window. It overlooked the lower town and most of Camelot. I stretched and gave him a little peck careful not to touch any bruises or cuts. "I better go, Gaius will think you've beaten me senseless if I don't," I said and stood in his doorway. "I love you and I'm sorry." He nodded and started to get ready. I walked out and got looks when I did but I didn't care, Arthur was back, the real Arthur.

"Where have you been?" Gaius asked angrily with Mordred right behind him scowling.

"I'm fine Gaius. Arthur is back to normal and it's alright," I said walking toward the bedroom. Mordred grabbed my arm and looked at me.

_He could have killed you! What if he had killed you and we had no idea, what would have happened to me? What would have happened? ANSWER ME! _He projected into my mind and dug his nails into my arm.

_It's alright Mordred, everything will be okay. Nothing will happen I promise,_ I said laying a hand on his arm and getting his nails out. I went to the back bedroom and changed into a new set of black clothes. Today was going to be better. I was going to go back to the lake and bury the bodies properly. If he wanted I would bring Mordred with me.

I walked out and retied my hair back from my face. "Mordred, I'm going to bury them, so you want to come with me?" I asked. He nodded solemnly and I went back into the bedroom and handed him some black clothes. "Go put these on and we'll go." He changed quickly and we set off for the stables. I saddled up two horses and mounted up. I waited for Mordred to and I heard someone yell my name. Gwen, Lance, and Arthur stood there and Arthur rushed over.

"Where are you going? You're not leaving are you?" he asked.

"I'm going to bury my friends Arthur. No I'm not leaving, but they deserve a proper burial in our customs," I said. Spurring the horse on. We trotted along and then I lead them on a full gallop. We arrived fairly quicker than when I was walking. We stood on the edge of the camp and looked at the pile of dead bodies. We began unstacking them and when we found Rose Mordred broke into harsh sobs. I tried to comfort him but he ran off and I decided to let him cry alone for a while.

I put the families together and that's when the sky decided to take a turn for the worst. It got dark and started raining lightly. I got a shovel from one of the tents and began digging. Shortly after Mordred walked up and we both were digging. We sang a mourning song while we dug their graves and when we set the first family in their graves I prayed over them. "Spirits, please guide them through the underworld and into the halls of eternal peace. Forever shall they stay with their loved ones, lost by natural or unnatural means." We started recovering the hole and I fashioned a headstone with magic marking their names on it. We did that through the day and into the night until we came upon Rose and her new husband.

I petted Rose's hair and decided I wouldn't bury her like this. I braided her amber hair and decorated it with a wreath of leaves and wildflowers. I kissed her hand and closed her eyes. Mordred set her gently into her grave and kissed her forehead. I fashioned her Gravestone apart from her husbands. It read:

_Here lies Rose _

_She was a brave valiant young girl _

_Aged nine and ten years_

_Loved friend and wife. Killed._

I know I didn't need to add the last part but it felt like a bit of closure. I prayed over her. "Spirits, please guide Rose and her beloved through the underworld into the halls of eternal peace, where she may meet with her loved ones like her mother and father and beloved. May she rest peacefully with her beloved forever more."

We slowly buried my friend and when we were done I felt empty inside. I walked through the camp that I been my home for years and I found most of it destroyed. I walked to Rose's and it was intact. I walked in and saw the dress that she had made for me, "For when the time comes," she had said, "for you to have your own family." The dress she had made for me to get married in. I fingered the silky fabric and smelt her scent in the fabric. I picked it up and when I did a small envelope fell out. I opened the seal carefully and read.

_Merlin,_

_If you're reading this it means that you're going to get married soon. I hope that you'll be happy with whoever you choose and I'm glad we got to be friends, you know that I lost my sister in the flood a few years ago and you helped me through that and now I get to pay you back. I love you as if you were my sister and I hope you're going to be as happy with your new husband as I am with my fiancé, which hopefully by the time you read this we'll be married. I hope you find happiness as I did._

_May the Spirits guide and watch over you Sister._

_Love,_

_Rose_

I felt the hot tears rolling down my face as I read the note over and over. I carefully put the note back in the envelope and put it in my pocket. I looked around the room and found a bag labeled with my name. Inside were some dresses, tunics, trousers, neckerchiefs, and a pair boots. I felt the soft leather of the boots and I felt tears pricking my eyes. These were made soon before she died because you could still feel the polish. I folded up the dress and stored it in the pack. I slung it over my shoulder and walked out. Mordred had the rest of his possessions packed and we walked back to the horses riding somberly to Camelot but on the way out I saw a sign that I hadn't before.

_**These people are to be example of what happens to magic-users.**_

I ripped it down and tucked it into my tunic pocket. No need for those tepid signs to be there any longer. We rode back to Camelot in silence and we went slowly. It was a custom that you go slowly and don't talk on your way back from a funeral or for the next day. When we arrived in Camelot the rain had let up and we were soaked to the skin. Mordred shivered and I pulled him to me trying to warm him. He shivered against my side and we walked back to Gaius's chambers quickly with our eyes downcast.

When we got there Arthur was waiting there. He tried to hug but I ducked under his arm. He grabbed me gently and pulled me to him. He stroked my hair and kissed my head. I felt his tears in my hair. Arthur was silently crying. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rubbed circles on his back. I pulled back and his face was downcast and when I looked him in the face his eyes and nose were all red. He had almost the look of a pouty child that just finished with a tantrum. And I should know Mordred had thrown plenty as a young child.

I placed my hand on the side of his face and he looked away. I pinched his cheek and made him look at me. I just conveyed what I was thinking through my facial expression. _I forgive you. Everything will be fine._ I leaned our foreheads together and his hitched breathing ghosted over my face and neck. I nuzzled into the crook of his neck and he just tried to regulate his breathing. I grabbed the sign and shoved it toward him in a silent question. "Merlin talk to me," he said hoarsely. I just shook my head. "Please!"

I grabbed a piece of parchment and scrawled onto it.

_It's not that I won't it's that I can't. It's tradition that you don't speak for a day after the funeral of friends or loved ones. It's part of my mourning Arthur. You have to respect that._

"I will respect your traditions Merlin but can't this wait until morning?" I sighed heavily and shook my head. He nodded and I gave him a chaste kiss and he left. I slumped down onto one of Gaius's benches and laid my head on the table. I felt a blanket being laid around my shoulders and there was Arthur standing over me. I was sitting on the edge of the bench and he slipped in behind me. I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep. Arthur leaned me against his chest and I hummed a light approval. He stroked my hair lovingly and leaned into the touch.

"Merlin, I want to apologize. I've hurt you and I've hurt your people and for that I'm so sorry," here he choked on his words. I looked at his face by turning a bit. He truly had a great deal of remorse. "I'm no better than the soldiers that killed Mordred's mother and father-" I pressed my fingers to his lips to stop him. I tried to project into his mind but it was so closed that I felt like I was touching a brick wall. I tried to get him to open up but he refused.

_ Arthur it's me. It's Merlin._ When I said this he shivered and I felt so odd. _Arthur open your mind._ That's when I felt his mind open a slight amount and I decided to take it. _Arthur you are the most worthy person I know. You fight for what is right whether everyone's against you or not. You truly love your people. You are the greatest man I have ever met._ I crushed his lips with mine and he just sat unresponsive. I pulled away and he looked down.

"I'm not worthy of your admiration Merlin. Your people were nothing but kind to me and how did I pay them back? By taking their healer to a place where she could easily be killed and by slaughtering them because my father told me to. I'm not worthy of your love or even your skills to heal me. You should have left me to die in the forest. It would have caused you less pain," he said it slowly and I made him look at me once more.

_Arthur, Uther should be the one apologizing to me. You are NOT your father. I have half a mind to tell him who I am and have him imprison me. I want him to know what he's done to me! I will!_ I stood and started toward the door and Arthur trailed behind me. He grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. I walked right up to the door and released his hand, _Stay here. I need to do this alone._ Arthur nodded and I knocked.

"Enter!" Uther yelled from the other side. I walked in eyes downcast and he stared at me surprised. "What may I do for you young lady?"

I stayed silent not knowing what to do. "Well," I said my voice cracking from not using it. I looked up and Uther was staring at me quite rudely. "I uh… I just…" but I couldn't finish because Uther kept staring at me.

"I understand completely dear," he said smiling which unnerved me.

"Y-you do?" I stuttered getting nervous as he got closer. He nodded slowly.

"A poor girl of your standing, I understand." He grabbed my waist harshly. I gulped, this was not at all what I meant. I tried to put some distance between us but he had a grip of iron on my waist.

"Sire, I actually wanted to talk of other matters. It has to do with Arthur," I said.

"Why do you want to talk about him?" he asked slurred. I just realized that he had too much to drink. I projected as loud as I could praying Arthur would hear me.

_Arthur! Help me! _Almost immediately Arthur burst in and he grabbed me from his father. He pulled me to his chest and I felt like crying.

"Father! What do you think you were doing?" Arthur demanded. "It's alright Merlin." I had broken down and started crying.

"She came to me Arthur," he said taking another drink of what I assumed to be wine. "She was all embarrassed and she must be a maiden then. So she's not yours then, so why do you care?"

"I love her!" When he said it I felt a swelling in my heart when I heard him say it. "Yes she's a maiden and I've never been with her," he blushed, "like that but that doesn't mean I don't care for her! She was trying to talk to you but I can see you have no intentions of just talking this night so I'll just wait until tomorrow."

"Think of it Arthur," Uther said leaning against the table. "A young beautiful serving girl like her being a maiden, you with those rippling muscles of yours could easily take her. She seems to have feelings for you so she'd probably be more than willing."

Arthur looked down at me almost like he was seriously thinking about Uther's statements. I looked up at him so scared he was going to give in and take me like that. My eyes widened in fear.

"Go on Arthur, she's just a serving girl. We can easily dispose of her later," Uther said. Well Arthur whipped his head up and he turned completely vicious.

"She's not dispensable to me! I'd never do that to her! She must come to me willingly for something…like that!" he roared and he picked me up. He slid his arm under the back of my knees and supported my back with the other arm. He carried me until Uther grabbed his arm.

"You really are missing out Arthur, girls like this don't come around every day. Your mother was the same as that girl. A beauty, gentle, feisty when she wanted to be, a lover not a fighter," As Uther said the last bit Arthur jerked his arm away and carried me away.

"I'm sorry Merlin, I didn't think he would do that. I never have heard of him sleeping with his maids. I never imagined that he would try to take you," he said. He placed me back on the floor but I wobbled so he lifted me back into his arms. He took me to Gaius's and that's when Gaius decided to be there. I refused to look at him or Mordred because they would never look at me the same if I told them what happened.

"Merlin! Are you alright!" Mordred asked frantically. I nodded and I kissed Arthur's cheek. I walked to the bedroom holding onto Arthur's hand.

"What is it Merlin?" he asked kneeling in front of me.

"I don't want to talk to them, I've already broken my silence enough tonight," I laid down on the bed. He went to get up but I grabbed his arm. _Please stay a little longer._

"I shouldn't… but I guess I don't have much to lose now," he said and settled behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and settled me to his chest. I fell asleep quickly and I realized how tired I had been.

When I dreamt I was in Uther's room in the same position we were in and when I called for Arthur he wasn't there. I felt the panic well up in my throat and I felt tears prick my eyes. Uther pinned me against the wall and I felt his mouth on mine. It was rough and cold and was filled with lust but I couldn't find the strength to fight him off. After a while he threw me onto his bed and was messing with his belt when I woke up screaming.

"Merlin! Merlin it's okay!" Arthur said and hugged me. I heard glass shattering and the window of our room shatters and a vase exploded next to us. I stopped screaming as bits of glass flew onto us and Mordred in the corner. He sat up and pulled out the glass from his hair. I sobbed violently and Gaius ran in and Arthur just held out his hand. "Shhh. Merlin it's alright, it was just a dream."

"I was there! I was there again but when I called you, you weren't there! I couldn't do anything!" My whole body was shaking.

"It's alright, I was there, nothing happened. I won't let him hurt you," he said stroking my hair. "Just don't break anymore windows or vases okay?" I let out a weak chuckle. He held me and Gaius walked out and Mordred went back to sleep.

"Thank you," I said and went back to sleep. I dreamt that me and Arthur were walking through a forest but we were different. We were happy and dressed completely in white and gold. We were happy and I unconsciously snuggled closer to Arthur.

_**A/N: Sorry this took so long but remember those looks from Uther that Merlin got when she first arrived. Well this is where it lead me! This is what I get for listening to Gabriel Iglesias while writing.**_


	11. Chapter 11

Arthur woke me up to say that he had to get back to his chambers and he gave me a quick peck. I slowly let go of his hand as he walked away. I sighed and stretched tiredly. I looked around groggily and grabbed the bag from Rose. I put on the black fitted tunic and black trousers. I tied my hair back in a braid and walked out to the smell of freshly cut herbs. I breathed in the scent and let out a small sneeze. I smiled at Gaius and he looked at me concerned. "Are you feeling okay Merlin?"

"It was just a sneeze Gaius, there are freshly cut herbs in here and they always make me sneeze," I said my hair still damp on my shoulder. I brushed my hair away from my neck absently. Gaius checked my temperature quickly and gave me a skeptic look over.

"Alright just take it easy Merlin okay?" I nodded and he went to chopping some more herbs. He threw them into a cauldron and some different ones in a pot over the fire. I sat at the table and Mordred walked out sleepily rubbing his eyes. He sat and sleepily watched me. I ruffled his hair and reveled in how much he had grown over these past few years, yet he was still so childish and small. He simply looked and didn't say anything.

_Are we allowed to talk Merlin?_ He asked.

_I'm not going to but you can,_ I replied. He nodded and looked at the book on the table. He read it while we sat quietly. I got up and took the potions and things that Gaius handed me. I paled at who the last one was for, Uther. I walked as slow as possible and gave everyone their medicines saving Uther for last. I knocked timidly on the door.

"Enter!" I heard him yell. I walked in and he eyed me creepily. I stuck out the salve and potion in my hand and stared intently at the floor. "Hello young lady," he said striding forward. I kept my eyes locked on the floor. "I'm speaking to you, I expect you to look me in the eye and answer me." He put his finger under my chin and tilted my head up. "There that's better, now I can see those cobalt eyes of yours. Truly beautiful."

I walked to his desk and scrawled out a note.

_I'm not speaking because I've taken a vow of silence for twenty-four hour for the deaths of my friends_

He read it and looked at me. "Who died that would make you take a vow of silence?" I wrote on the paper again.

_The Druid people in the Darkling Woods_

He hissed through his teeth and gave me a dark look. "You're one of them?" I nodded and he clenched his teeth and fists. "Get out. Get out of my chambers and send for Arthur!" He threw a book my way so I ducked and ran toward Arthur's chambers as quickly as I could. I knocked and he called for me to enter.

_Arthur he knows! Uther knows! He wants to see you, now._ I said to him rapidly. He strode over and gave me a quick peck on the cheek and reassurances. I walked behind him and he told me to wait outside while he talked to his father.

"Hello Merlin!" Lance said walking up. I waved. "Oh yes! I had forgotten about your vow of silence, but can't you talk to people with your mind," he said that last part quietly. I nodded and he sighed.

_Hello Lance,_ he shuddered as I projected into his mind. _Arthur's in there with Uther, he knows that I lived with the Druids._

"How did he find out?" he asked quietly.

_I told him. He asked me about my vow of silence,_ I answered. He nodded and I looked at the door anxiously. There was no yelling or anything. There was silence and then suddenly it sounded as if something had exploded. There was yelling, the sounds of breaking glass, and then the door flew open. Arthur stumbled out and forced a smile. Uther stormed out behind him and turned him around violently, looking into his son's eyes with what seemed like tears in his.

"Why Arthur?" he asked quietly.

"Love," Arthur said and wrenched out of his Father's grip. He walked to me and held to me and I felt him trembling. Uther looked at us angrily and then something in his face softened. He almost smiled but it was sadly.

"Arthur," Uther said and Arthur turned to his father's stern gaze. "I approve. I can see that you are sincere, I'll approve." I looked at Arthur questioningly.

He smiled and swung me around with a hug but I kept my quizzical look. "He approves of us!" I just shook my head not understanding, He knelt in front of me and then I understood. "Marry me? Please. You are the other half of me, the better half. I will fight armies for your hand and heart. I know you have taken a vow of silence but just answer me this with your beautiful voice."

Lance and Uther stared at me and I turned my eyes to Arthur. "Not for all the jewels in the world," I started and I saw Arthur's shoulders fall, "would I refuse you Arthur, you the love of my life and the better half of myself. You need not compete with any other for you already have my heart and soon you will have my hand." My voice was a bit scratchier from me not using for half a day and I immediately went silent again. Arthur leapt up and made what I assumed was a happy sound, although to me it sounded like a dog that had gotten its tail stepped on. He hugged his father and grinned at Lance. He swung me around again and I felt dizzy as he set me on the floor.

"When shall you two want to announce your betrothal?" Uther asked.

"As soon as Merlin's vow of silence is broken, tomorrow afternoon," Arthur said and looked for my approval. I nodded and so did he. We smiled at each other, we could finally be happy now. At least for a while.


	12. Chapter 12

After a few months of waiting Arthur and I were wed. It was a cross between a Druid and noble wedding. The ceremony was only for our friends and the noble people, to my displeasure. We left and went to see my mother and the Druids. I hadn't seen my mother in a long time and she was thrilled that I was married and she instantly liked Arthur. The Druids just nodded knowingly at us and we kept traveling for a while staying with a few of the tribes of Druids. We went back to Camelot to find that Mordred, shortly after we had, left Camelot to rejoin his people. I was unsettled by this but Arthur assured me that he would be fine and that we would see from him again.

It was years after we were married that Mordred came back, almost a fully grown man. He told us that Uther was not long for this world and that he would occasionally check in on us. He disappeared shortly afterwards and his prophesy became true. Uther died and Arthur ascended the throne with me at his side. We repealed the ban on magic and Uther's enemies were sated. Gwen and Lance married and all of Camelot lived happily ever after.

THE END


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